You Just Can Not Make This Up

Looks like this runs in our family. Below is a Facebook post from our Niece Niki.

I’m taking after my Uncles Mark Carrie with YOU JUST CAN’T MAKE THIS STUFF UP with BEST Uber ride ever tonight! Here’s what happened. Got in the Uber and Rhonda found a cell phone. I checked to see if I could open it but it was locked. The home screen was a very attractive man without a shirt. He finally called his phone and when I answered I told him that he would have to take his shirt off to properly identify him. After all, we wouldn’t want this phone to get in the wrong abs, I mean hands. He then Face Timed me and took off his shirt. Once I counted all of his abs, we could be sure it was him. He thanked me for being so careful and properly IDing him. The Uber driver Jason then delivered him his phone after we were dropped off. Here is the pic of our FaceTime.

We all know what a jokester Carrie can be. We were at the Walmart Grocery store on Kennedy Blvd in Tampa. I was buying a package of chicken drumsticks. Carrie asked the checkout girl if they were front legs or back legs? The girl picked up the package and said “I’ll go ask.” She came back and said “NOT FUNNY GUYS!” Hum… we laughed all the way home.  

When your young you sometimes do dumb things….  I was living in Minneapolis, MN. and had a Gay roommate we called Miss New York. Together we had a lady friend who was living in an abusive relationship. One day at happy hour we decided to put a stop to it and move her in with us. We waited until 12 midnight, after the boyfriend had gone to work. Walked the 5 blocks away to her nasty apartment. All she had was twin bed, dresser and clothes.  So, we took the bed out side put the dresser and clothes on it and started to push it down the street about 1AM. (At this time in Minneapolis when you were charge with public drunkenness, they put you in the drunk tank (a clinic for rehab) for 48 hours.) Just then we realized that we were in front of the drunk tank!!! OMG WTF!!! A guard came out and asked what were we doing? I don’t know to this day why but he let us go. Our lady friend lived with us for 4 months then got her own apartment in a nice building.

One day there was a 20 something girl sitting at the bar. She was staring at her big purse on the bar and looked upset. I asked if her drink was OK. She said Yes that she was just very mad. Of course, I asked mad about what? She told me that she had just found out that her purse was a fake!!!! With a laugh I asked her…. How did you find that out? “My girlfriend told me that if your boyfriend goes to the Bahamas with out you and brings you back a purse IT IS A FAKE!!!”  I though to my self HUM…. TRUE & Wonder now you thanked him for that $20 purse???? LMAO

In school, and later in life we all had nick names for our friends. A friend of our was hit by a train. After spending many months in a coma, he came out and is OK today. We all have called him Train Wreck since that time. One time I was bartending in a restaurant. Train Wreck stopped by and I took his order. The kitchen manager came out and called me aside. He said to me… You know, that when you type a customer’s name in they can read it on the receipt.  I smile and said yes.  He then said with and upset voice… You just called this guy Train Wreck. I smile and said Yes its his name. The manager just walked away shaking his head in disbelief. LMAO So the next time you get a recipe look for your name. You might be surprised what they called you.

There was a wonderful free spirit person we called Miss Samantha Perkins. Dressed in female clothing but never with makeup or female hair. Samantha loved to make people smile and have fun. One day at the SunCoast Resort, one of the owners was having a political person running for St. Pete Mayor, coming to speak. The political rally was right infront of our store there. Samantha came walking up to see what was going on. The owner got mad and said she was not welcome and need to go into our store and stay out of sight until after the rally. Devastated she came into our store and sat with us until after the rally. What a sad day for Samantha and our community.  Today she is retired and living quietly in Tampa.

I have been bartending full and part time most of my adult life. The most annoying customers to me are young giggling girls!!! One day a girl in a trashy whore outfit, that she probably changed into in the car because her Mother wouldn’t let her leave the looking this bad, walks in…  She asked excitedly if I could make her a “Green Alien Screaming Orgasm?” I smile and said “PUFF you’re a green alien now scream.”  Giggle, Giggle I want it as a shot. I have one before and it totally F’d me up. I asked what’s in it. She doesn’t know but had one at the bar next doors. I said sorry have no idea what that is. (bartenders make up shots all the time) She then asks the predictable question “What do you know how to make!?!?!” With a BIG SMILE I tell her “I know how to make a “Whore Moan””. She asked what’s in it… I say “I just don’t pay her.” It just goes over her head. I then say just let me make something that will taste like Christmas in your mouth. She tries the shot and PUFF It’s the best shot her has ever had in her mouth. What’s it called??? I tell her a “Southern Cowboy C***sucker (Southern Comfort & Baily Cream).” Now you know why I go home laughing every night!!!

In 1983 John “Billy” Ferry walked into the Palm River Winn Dixie and tossed gasoline over clerks and people waiting in the checkout line. Killing 5 people and hurting many more. He’s is serving 5 life sentences, one for each of the people he killed. His 14 year old son, John was arrested in ‘91 for possession of a firebomb and destructive device.

Fast forward to 1986 when we purchased a home in North Hyde Park. From the second floor we could see into the lot of the house next door. There was a strange long pile of dirt on one side. We asked the seller about it. She told us that there was an old guy living there. He helped a homeless guy and gave him a place to live. They then started to argue and to fight. Suddenly the old guy was gone and the young guy started to sell everything on the front porch. When the neighbors asked where was the older guy, he would say “he moved back up north.”  

The landlord came and evicted the young guy.  The young homeless guy was Billy Ferry.  After the fire-bombing the neighbors called the police. They came to the house and for 3 weeks to dig up the back yard. They watched in horror and wonder.  The older gentleman was never found.

https://www.tampabay.com/news/publicsafety/crime/thirty-years-later-memory-of-winn-dixie-fire-billy-ferry-still-vivid/2129443?fbclid=IwAR0Kv7vVh0poW8TvdEQRdqH4Uc_O9FxB8cfJIF4d8nAElbMAqeYNJchXemw

Beto O’Rourke stops in Ybor City

To the delight of many sittings on the patio at Bradley’s on 7^th. There walked by Beto O’Rourke!!! Carrie & him had a very nice conversation and photos too. Who will be next in Ybor???

We truly love Miss Amanda D Rhod!!! https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001213991871 One-night Amanda was between shows at The Honey Pot and stepped outside for some fresh air. Some friends walked by with a Rainbow Puerto Rican Flag. Amanda asked to borrow the flag for a minute. Then walked up to a Police Officer, handed him here cell phone and asked him to take a picture of her. The officer said “Looks like you’re having a fun time partying tonight” Amanda told him no she was working, please take the photo. He did and then took one more with his phone!!! Here is that photo. LOVE AMANDA